if i never see your face again ...
then i will find you and love you once more
time after time

02 February 2008

game over..aim ended..why?because i myself destroyed it with my own hands..and why i destroyed it?i rly duno..
felt so numb aft e game..even till now..i still cant forgive myself..force myself to go sch and face everyone..forcing myself to smile and joke,being fine aft e game..im totally depressed..
durg e game im so panic..afraid mistakes from me..e results of e game..den when e game starts..i felt even more panic..im afraid to start e ball..make any passes..i just duno..im so stress in da game..in da end i start to cry durg 2nd quarter..i cant control my mind..everything in mess..and i created e mess..im not fit to say that im tired in da game..im not fit to push all e responsibilities to others..and im not fit to say give up nor walk away durg e game..that tym i rly felt like telling coach that i cant make it for e game..i dun have confidence on myself..if a guard dun have confidence for the game..how will e team work well?how can they rely on those passes i gave em..i rly let e whole team down..including coach..those trgs..those oversea trips..and those tough trg with mates..all those hardwork they gave just wasted on my hand..i destroy it..been working with em for 3 yrs..some is 2 yrs..this is their last yr..i still cant get myself buck up and prepare well for every game..this shows that im really lousy..i cant even control my mind in da game,stopping myself from thinkin that much..why am i fit to be in they court playing with my mate?rubbish..all rubbish..seriously aft that game..i dun dare to face coach anymore..i dun even know could i still stand up and fight back in da court nex tym aft this big fall..totally moodless kept feel like crying..
anw thks xiaohaizi for trying to cheer me up..i know u did ur best..but this cant be cured by few words..because i made a huge mistake..

sorry team..

i know that i care about you ... at 11:58

` here.waiting ;